Amber
by Felflowne
Summary: After a military operation goes wrong, Ed is left carrying the weight of two lost lives, but the blame can be transferred... in accordance with the law of equivalent trade. Shonen-ai, RoyxEd, COMPLETE.


Amber

Amber is... ancient.

Roy Mustang surveyed the paperweight on his desk with mild indifference. It had been a gift from a relative to congratulate him on his promotion, but now all it was doing was stopping a sweet wrapper from blowing out of the window, and giving him something to ponder about.

__

Waiter... why's there this fly in my amber.... ha ha ha....

He reached out and picked up the ball, testing its weight and calling to mind its physical makeup in his mind, before setting it down with a smirk, and imagining the earbashing he'd get for transmuting something like that from its benefactor. He wondered idly if the stuff could melt.

'Hawkeye?'

'Colonel?' The woman turned in her chair and frowned slightly at Mustang's current inert state.

'What's the itinerary for tomorrow?'

'It's on your desk, Colonel.'

'Then think of this as a memory test.'

Hawkeye sighed.

'Tomorrow Colonel, the 5th troops are returning from their peacekeeping duties in the East, and you are to debrief them. Also, the yearly audit is coming up so it may be advisable to prepare.'

'Is that all?'

'Yes, wait, no. The annual medicals start tomorrow.'

Roy cursed inwardly. Being scrutinised by perverted old men was NOT his cup of tea. Bloody medicals.

'Are they all week?'

'No sir. Just till Thursday.'

'Understood.'

Roy watched Hawkeye's gaze linger on him for a second or two out of the corner of his eye, before her attention reverted to the report she was writing. He looked at the ornament in his hands again. Then smiled.

**

'What's this?'

'What does it look like? It's a form. Fill it in and move along.'

Grumbling, Ed took the paper none too gracefully from the offering hand, and stomped over to where Al was waiting for him at a table.

'Nii-san, what is that for?'

'It's a form I have to fill in with information I don't want people to know then hand back to gits like the Colonel,' groaned Ed, sweatdropping slightly as he read down the criteria.

'O-Oh,' Al muttered, looking down, 'do I need to fill one in?'

Ed glanced at him sadly.

'No, you don't, just us military curs.'

'Nii-san, don't talk like that!'

Ed just sighed and reached for the fountain pen in his pocket.

**

'Fullmetal, are you crying?'

'No!'

'Liar. If you weren't I'd be worried about you.'

**

Ed fumbled the pen and ink splashed everywhere.

'Ack! Shi-mat-TA!' he swore, before swiftly touching his palms together and separating the ink and paper, and funnelling the ink back into the pen.

A few people looked up after the flash, but there weren't many people in the hall.

'Nii-san?'

Ed forced a laugh.

'Heh, I'm getting too clumsy at writing, Al.'

'Mmm…'

**

'Look at them.'

'I don't want…'  


'THAT'S AN ORDER, FULLMETAL!'

Ed turned his head slightly, and could just make out the blurry shapes of two people against the far wall through the tears he'd denied.

'Look at them. Or they died for nothing.'

**

'Height…' Ed sighed, 'Al, how tall am I?'

'Uhh… I don't know. What units do they want?'

'Feet.'

'Um… about 5 foot 5,' Al muttered.

'Al…'

'Fine, fine, 5 foot 3.'

Ed wrote it down carefully.

'Eye colour… Why do they want to know that?' Ed exclaimed, but he knew that every bit of information was required. It all made a difference when sifting through the dead.

Al didn't answer. He knew what he was going to be asked next.

'Al…'

'Gold, nii-san.'

**

'Sit down.'

Ed didn't even bother protesting that he was fine. It was too big a lie even for him.

'Drink this.'

'I'm underage.'

The next thing he knew a bottle was shoved none too gently to his mouth, and although he spluttered, a decent amount of brandy went down his throat.

'Damn you!' he cried.

His curse was ignored. Roy slipped the bottle back into his pocket without a word.

'There should be a car arriving in about half an hour.'

'Bit late now.'

'Fullmetal…'

'You failed,' Ed said flatly, 'you didn't get here in time.'

'I didn't,' the Colonel agreed.

'And they died…'

'Yates and Holmes died protecting you.'

'They shouldn't've… I'm not a child…' but to his horror Ed's voice began to crumble into sobs.

'Yes you are. Part of their orders was to protect you, Fullmetal.'

'And whose genius idea was that?' Ed asked, his voice low and venomous.

'Mine.'

'Then… we killed them.'

The Colonel's words in answer were drowned out by the engine of the car.

**

'O…K… OK, I'm all done.' Ed blew on the paper to dry the ink, and walked up to hand it in.

Al watched him.

'Nii-san, why won't you tell me what happened when you left me?' he muttered.

**

'Oi! Elric!'

Ed turned and had a piece of paper thrust into his hands.

'Special message from the General.'

The Lieutenant saluted casually and walked away. Ed unrolled the paper.

'What's wrong, nii-san?' Al asked worriedly as Ed's face became darker.

With a sudden fierceness that made his younger brother jump, Ed scrunched up the paper and shoved it into his pocket.

'I have to go and see the Colonel.' He said stiffly, rising.

'Ah…Oh.' 

'Sorry, Al. Really I am. I'll get away as soon as possible. I don't want to talk to him for any longer than is absolutely necessary.'

'Nii-san, don't talk like that, you'll get into trouble!'

Ed laid his flesh hand on his brother's huge shoulder, and gave an empty smile.

'The worst they can do is chuck me out, Al.'

'S-So.'

'Why don't you go down to the river? I'll meet you there when I'm done.'

'Mmm, OK.'

Leaving his only family behind him, Ed walked the length of the room and began to climb the stairs.

**

'What is with the boy? He won't eat.'

'He blames himself for his comrades' death.'

'Was it his fault?'

'Not entirely. Blame lies with all of us, including the deceased. If he keeps trying to take it all on, he'll be crushed. No use to anyone then.'

'That's cold, Colonel.'

'But you know I'm right. Keep him here for another few nights, Doctor.'

'Sir.'

**

Roy Mustang was idly throwing his paperweight from one hand to the other when the knock came.

'Come in.'

Ed entered the room, his jaw set firmly as he walked over to his superior officer.

'You wanted to see me, sir?'

'Ahh yes, Fullmetal. Have a seat?'

'I'd rather stand,' Ed said flatly.

'Suit yourself.'

Mustang opened a drawer and pulled out a wadge of papers, leafing through them one by one.

'It's about the medical form, isn't it?' Ed said.

'Yes, actually. You'll note… here,' Roy said, smirking infinitesimally, 'that you signed a promise stating that all the information in the document, to the best of your knowledge, was correct.'

'Yes, sir,' Ed said tiredly.

'But…!' Roy slammed the papers down, causing Ed to nearly jump out of his skin.

'But…?' He said, feeling lost, and more than a little irritated.

'Right here,' Roy said, pointing.

Ed leant forward and scanned to where the Colonel's finger was.

__

Eye colour… Gold…

'Sorry sir,' Ed grated, 'I know it's unusual, but that's what colour my eyes are…'

'Wrong!'

'Wha…?'

To Ed's utter astonishment and growing irritation, the Colonel pulled a mirror out of nowhere and shoved it under his nose.

'Here.'

Ed fumbled but just about caught what Roy threw to him. It was a rock.

'Do you know what that is, Fullmetal?'

'Goddammit! Will you stop playing games!' Ed snapped, his control finally slipping.

He was forced to retreat a few steps as Roy strode around the table and snatched the rock from Ed's grasp.

'This, Fullmetal, is amber. It's formed from fossilised tree sap, or so I believe. It's ancient. Like the cycle of life and death.'

Ed's eyes widened as Roy leant towards him again.

'Look in the mirror, Fullmetal, and tell me what colour your eyes are.'

Ed blinked at his own reflection. He looked different to how he remembered. His face seemed to be shadowy.

'They're…not gold.'

'Correct.'

Ed gritted his teeth.

'OK, you win, they're amber.'

Roy didn't say anything for a while, and let Ed burn in his gaze.

'It was my fault.'

'Huh?'

'Yates and Holmes. Their deaths were because of me.'

Ed slammed his fist into the desk, splintering it.

'NO! It was my fault! I killed them! If I wasn't such a pathetic…'

'Shut up.'

'Sir.'

Ed hung his head and screwed his eyes shut. Lies. The Colonel was lying to make him feel better. But why?

'Sir?'

'I said shut up!'

'No! What are you doing this? The blame is mine! All mine!'

'And just what would you do with the weight of the loss of two lives on your shoulders, Fullmetal?' Roy snapped suddenly, turning sharply to face the small soldier.

'It's what I deserve.'

'No, you don't deserve it at all.'

Ed raised his head slowly.

'Your medical form, as it stands, contains incorrect information, Fullmetal.'

'I'll change it now.' Ed said, desperate to get away from the Colonel when he was in this odd mood.

'No.'

'What?!' Ed was a few steps away from flat out screaming.

'I don't want you to change it. I want you to make it right again. Come here.'

Ed couldn't think of anything he wanted to do less, but his legs seemed to move on their own. He stopped in front of the Colonel and looked up at him.

Then, without warning, his head dropped forward so it was resting on Roy's chest.

'Why… weren't you there!' Ed cried, tears starting in his eyes, 'I trusted you! You said you'd get there in time!'

'You're too young,' Roy said flatly, apparently oblivious to the crying boy resting on him, 'You don't understand.'

'Bull…shit….' Ed gasped, wiping his eyes shamefully, and attempting to step back, but wobbling.

'I'll take the blame. I'll take it for you.'

'You can't! That's not how it works!'

'Maybe one day when you can handle it, I'll give it back.'

'Why…?'

'Because…'

Roy lifted a hand slowly and placed it on top of Ed's head, causing the boy to look up in surprise.

'… this isn't how you should be. You shouldn't have to deal with this, not now.'

The words threatened to make Ed's control slip entirely. The Colonel was being _sympathetic?_ A single word of comfort from him was enough…

'Thank you. But I can't.' Ed said, breathing deeply to regain the composure.

'Because it goes against the law of equivalent trade,' said Roy, unsmiling.

'Yes,' Ed said, so quietly it was practically a whisper.

'Ed, look at me.'

The boy looked up in astonishment. Roy smiled.

'Hah. Has anyone ever told you that you're beautiful?'

'Ah! Ano…!' Ed blushed and looked away, muttering, 'No, of course not!'

'Unbelievable!' Roy laughed, 'next you'll be telling me that no-one's ever done this!'

Leaning down swiftly, he captured Ed's mouth with his own, pressing gently but insistently against his lips until they parted, and then leisurely exploring the boy's mouth with his tongue.

As he drew away, Ed just looked stunned, but managed to stutter, 'N-No…'

'I've been watching you, Fullmetal,' Roy said softly, gently tracing the boy's face with a finger, 'and I'm forced to admit that you are without a doubt the most beautiful person I've ever met.'

'Sh-Shut up…jerk…' Ed mumbled, but didn't resist as Roy claimed another deep kiss.

'I can't let you carry that burden, Ed. Not yet. If you allow me to hold you and kiss you like this, then doesn't that satisfy the law of equivalent trade?'

'I guess…'

'Then good. The blame is mine, not yours. Go off and meet your brother at the river.'

'S-Sir!' Ed stepped away, his legs shaking, but he'd barely taken two steps when he felt Roy's hand clutch his.

'Look, Ed.' He was holding the mirror. Ed looked.

His eyes were gold again.


End file.
